The past few weeks, I have been aware of the conversations around me about how some people hold onto guilt. I have been aware of myself feeling bad inside for feeling as if, I dropped the ball in some conversations or duties as well.
How do you make the twinge go away? Here is what I have found to get rid of undo guilt.
If you have had disappointments this year or this month, think them over and write them down, it could be a terrible mistake you made at work or just thinking badly about someone. Once you have put it in an envelope or fold it up, burn it in a fire or just bury it in the dirt in your yard. Making an effort like this will give you a tangible way of letting go.
Sometimes, it is an apology you need to make. Apology is not where you mention everything about the situation without adding a genuine “sorry”. The apology should be about the person you hurt. “I’m sorry, I didn’t make it to the party. You must have wondered where I was. I hope that didn’t ruin it for you.” Then you can ask for forgiveness – which in turn can help you let go of the guilt.
If you haven’t hurt someone directly by your actions, skip the guilt. But if you are, make sure there is a reason for it. Step back and ask yourself, “If I had a friend in my place, would I think she should feel guilty?” or “Is there a reasonable basis for me to feel guilty?” If the answer is “no” then move on. If you have hurt someone, take responsibility and try to fix it.
Guilt is poisonous, when it makes you an overachiever, not feeling like you measure up by helping with the finances, not spending enough time with your family…. Just take a breath, and realize that some of your ideals can be impossible to match. You will feel less guilty if you decide that every day you are going to do the best you can. You are good enough!
You may feel guilty all of the time. The challenge is to use those feelings of not doing enough and motivate you to be a better person and more loving and attentive not to allow yourself to go into a hole of self-blame. You may have cut someone off in traffic that you didn’t mean to. You aren’t able to find a way to say “sorry” but instead of feeling guilty, try to be a nicer to other drivers and pay it forward.
Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Hebrews 10:22
Enjoy your day and hope to hear from you soon, Lisa